Tomorrow, you get married.

You walk down the aisle and so forth.. the same walk I did 3 years ago, without you there.

You tell me that all that 'drama wasn't for nothing'

I can tell that you were completely oblivious to how much that 'drama' affected me. How much it hurt my feelings, how messed up I had gotten.. how lost I had become.

Those years have become this black hole, I barely remember them now.. likely due to the drinking I had done on the weekends to numb the feeling of being un-wanted.. mostly due to the fact that I pushed those memories, those people.. those feelings out of my head.

Those years, I lost sight of what I really wanted to accomplish in my life, and at that point made decisions I now live the regret when there's nothing else in my mind to think about.

You've taken those years, and thrived... made friends with the people who I felt were poisonous to who I was and who I wanted to be. You moved on with that circle of people.. people who didn't care a shred about me.

I imagined our future differently, clearly the fates had something else in store for us.

Tomorrow, while you walk down the aisle... I will be in a different country, watching a sport that has not only saved my soul.. but made me something of a local celebrity.

I have moved on from those years, grew up.. changed, I'm not the person I once was when you knew me.. Drinking is reserved for the after-party, boys are now just one Man, my best friends are the ones who train with me, the ones who will kick my ass if I'm not being the best that I can be.

I became the person I wanted without you. I am strong, I am, for the first time in my life, an athlete. I have the very best friend I could ever ask for, who knows me better than I can know myself.

Things happen for a reason I guess, I'm happier now than I had ever been in those years.

- Until then.

<<<- | ->>>