.. I'm going to be somebody.
someday.
Living alone for the past week now has given me time to think.. think about the past, think about the present, and most of all.. think about the future.

Sitting here, in the office again.. another saturday night... I often wonder how my life got to this point... a desk jockey... living pay day to pay day.. looking forward to a moment 2 months later.

Lately, I've been working out, living at the gym as much as I can.. most of the time it reminds me of a time where I would pretend I was an up and coming WWF superstar, working out and showing off.

... I'm not the shape I was years ago, I've degraded into this pile of mush.. but I still see that fire that I had years ago.. this determination to become someone.. to prove beyond all proof that I was something different.

every single lift of the barbell, every single step of the stair climber.. like my trainer says.. "you're stonger than yesterday".. each small step is going to get me somewhere, I feel it.

I've learned to value the time that I have alone, for it is so rare in these days not to be connected to someone somehow (even in sleep through a bluetooth headset). I truly have become a lone wolf..

but that's not to say that I don't crave companionship.

for the first time in my life, I feel as if I have truly found a soul much like my own.. one who has his own values and goals and won't fall off the track like someone else did.. someone who can physically fill what someone lacked.. someone, who won't push me out of their lives when it was convenient.

this bond makes everything else in the world so insignificant... all the forum drama, the family issues, the lack of close friends seems to disappear when we talk...

I've realized that I am growing up faster than I wanted. That the world is in my face, and I have but to work towards something I want in order to get it.. and that it doesn't matter that I'm not the favorite... just as long as I remember who I am.

life moves fast... just gotta roll with it.

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