I'm staring at a broken door.. there's nothing left of me anymore..

Today started off wonderfully, had a great workout with lots of energy and encouragement... gamed a bit.. had a good couple of rounds..

.. got ready for work, and then gut punch..

"the reason why i want to get this done, is for the last year i guess i've been sitting in limbo while you've decided what you wanted, and you're now living your life how you want it, while i'm still sitting in limbo without closure. I still have a house full of your things, your cars, your presence around, while you're able to move on without any reminders of me."

I guess he forgets the anxiety I feel when I talk to people.. the way I filtered myself around him, the fear I have of annoying people.

He forgets the way he made me feel.. that I spent 6 years of my life with him as this little limb he could control and now the limb is off and teetering in it's own path.. the constant reminder that I'm not good enough.. that I'm not an adult.. that I need to be taken care of.

That I couldn't live without him.

... and here I am. Doing the thing.

I'm not sure why this made me so sad.. I guess it's just reality hitting.. I made the choice.. and now I follow through.

- the monster.

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