had a dream about you again.

I have these dreams that for some reason you come back into my life, and we only have these fleeting moments, and I feel like I just want to know everything that happened.

They often feel so real, like I can smell you again, hear your voice... I realize, too quickly, that it's a dream. You're not really there, and you still don't remember who I am.. or I guess at this point, you don't really care.

The tough part is, I'm honestly not sure why I keep dreaming about you, or why my brain keeps wanting to think about you. I guess it's been almost 10 years since we last talked... maybe in my mind, I feel like I almost had you... and I feel like maybe I didn't try hard enough.

.. and now, I'm in this life, where.. yes, it's awesome.. I've done some wonderful and amazing things, and I've been blessed with being able to find a good place... I feel like.. maybe my feelings aren't there, that I've felt feelings stronger for others than I do now... that I'm just.. "safe" now, because this was the "right" thing to do.

10 years ago, we were chatting on MSN. 10 years ago, I was getting ready for the end of high school and the beginning of life, and even through was just a kid... you still chatted with me.

... All I want to do is tell you how much your influence has made my life better. You may not get to hear it, or know it... but you've touched nearly every part of my life.

maybe this feeling will pass, hopefully it does.

.. until then.

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